Social Skills
While dining out in public or simply with friends, the Pepsi drinker needs to know how
to act to avoid embarrassing himself, his spouse, or his hosts. In some cases it is the
Pepsi drinker who must act correctly, but in many cases the Pepsi drinker must know how
to respond to Pepsi snafus that are performed by people who simply do not understand all
of the procedures for working with Pepsi.
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Guest Responsibilities
If you are invited to a party, or a simple dinner, feel free to offer to bring your own
Pepsi. However, if the host/hosted delines then do not repeat the offer. Over a period
of time, as your friends see you in action with Pepsis, they will learn to accept the offer.
Likewise, if you are at such an event and the host/hostess offers you a non-Pepsi drink,
simply say yes to the offer. Then, during the meal pretend to take an occasional sip of
the non-Pepsi drink. Rather than explain to the host that you have taken an oath to drink
only Pepsi, you will be better off to graciously accept whatever is offerred and then
simply not drink it.
In such cases, be sure to occasionally pour some, but not all, of the fluid into the
kitchen sink so that you will appear to be drinking. If you are always in the same room
as the host and cannot use the kitchen sink, excuse yourself to the restroom and "eliminate"
the fluid there.
If you are really thirsty, then asking for a glass of water instead of a beverage is
considered an acceptable request by most hosts/hostesses.
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Pepsi and Matching Foods
Pepsi is not meant to be consumed by itself. Many Pepsi drinkers do so but those who
consume Pepsi with other foods find that alternating between eating bites of food and
drinking Pepsi provides a significant enhancement of the Pepsi drinking experience.
For example, Pepsi is considered a sweet product as opposed to Popcorn, which is
definitely a non-acidic material (particularly when salted). Alternating Pepsi and
Popcorn in an eating session provides more satisfaction than when consuming Pepsi alone.
Better yet, Pepsi has been shown to be an enhancing agent for food combinations greater
than two - with combinations up to 7 not unheard of. For example, one Pepsi consumer is
know to place an Atomic Fireball (hot candy) in each jaw. With those in place, a
bite of a combination peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich on crackers is eaten.
After swallowing, a second bite of a vanilla wafer and peanut butter appetizer is taken.
Again, after swallowing the second bite, a third bird of a Brach's candy orange slice is
eaten. All of this is eased down the throat with a chilled drink of Pepsi (preferrably
straight from the can, chilled).
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Eliminating Gas (Carbonation)
If you inadvertently drink Pepsi too quickly, creating carbonation pressure inside your
stomach, a slow release of the gas through an open mouth is the correct procedure - no
noise please! When releasing the gas, no facial expression or audible sign of satisfaction
is to be made.
Regardless of the pace of releasing the gas, a host with a sensitive nose can detect the
gas so please do not perform this act while facing the host.
It is not considered socially acceptable to release the gas through your nose. Often, the nose
release tickles so much that a face is made, advertising the bad practice. Anonymous
alternatives are preferred.
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The Warm Reserve Can - Emergency
Pepsi purists are known to drink all the available Pepsi in their home. It is recommended
that at least 1 container of Pepsi be left unchilled, even heated. Having such a container
of Pepsi will ensure that only in an emergency will the Pepsi be consumed. For those Pepsi
purists whose will is weak, the reduced taste value of a heated Pepsi will help to maintain
the Pepsi for only emergency situations.
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Returning to the Pepsi Generation
If an extended illness prevents a Pepsi purist from consuming Pepsi for over 3 weeks, it
has been noted that the first taste of Pepsi may not match the purist's memory of the
superb Pepsi taste. Like many fine tastes, Pepsi is an acquired taste and it may take
as many as 8-10 Pepsis for the tongue to adjust and for Pepsi to provide the expected
pleasurable taste response to the brain.
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Pepsi And The Clock
Optimum Pepsi drinking has nothing to do with the clock. Drink Pepsi when you eat or when
your are thirsty - regardless of the time of day.
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Selfish Methods Dis-owned By Pepsi Purists
A major problem that Pepsi purists have is the consumption of Pepsi by family members.
Where simple purchase of adequate Pepsi supplies is not possible, the preferred strategy
is to expose family members to other, habit-forming drinks so that the family members
will not consume the limited Pepsi supplies. In addition to providing the other
drinks (such as coffee, tea, or milk) to family members it is usually necessary to talk
up the health benefits of the alternatives in order to persuade the family member to
shift their own drinking habits to non-Pepsi items.
While these practices produce results, they are not considered acceptable because they
selfishly limit the enjoyment of Pepsi to a single person.
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Dining Out - Without Pepsi
It is a sad truth that there are Pepsi imitators out there in the world. At times,
the Pepsi purist may find themselves in a situation where Pepsi is simply not available.
In such cases, options are limited. The preferred approach is to simply drink water.
Where this may not be acceptable, the secondary approach is to purchase other carbonated
products and add water to them in order to dilute their overall taste. At a high level of
diluation (flatness), almost all carbonation drinks taste the same, so you can then pretend
that it is Pepsi that your are drinking.
Using such practices will not lower your social status amongst other Pepsi drinkers - you
will not be considered a traitor.
Do not consume an undiluted, alternate carbonation product.
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Travel Tips
When traveling, the best approach to chilling Pepsi is to put the cans of Pepsi into
an ice chest that is filled with a mix of water and ice. Putting only ice in the chest
will not chill the Pepsi as much as the combination of water and ice.
In cases where the water/ice approach may be a problem an alternative method for chilling
Pepsi is to use dry ice (frozen CO2). When CO2 evaporates it does not leave behind any
liquids - it evaporates straight into the air, leaving behind no mess at all.
However, dry ice cannot make intimate
contact with the can, as can water, so the CO2 approach provides less chilling than the
water/ice approach. On the positive side, dry ice can last longer than plain ice, so
it may be preferable for longer trips.
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