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While dining out in public or simply with friends, the Pepsi drinker needs to know how to act to avoid embarrassing himself, his spouse, or his hosts. In some cases it is the Pepsi drinker who must act correctly, but in many cases the Pepsi drinker must know how to respond to Pepsi snafus that are performed by people who simply do not understand all of the procedures for working with Pepsi.

Guest    Compatibility    Gas    Reserve    Absence   
Clock    Selfish    Dining    Travel   

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Guest Responsibilities

If you are invited to a party, or a simple dinner, feel free to offer to bring your own Pepsi. However, if the host/hosted delines then do not repeat the offer. Over a period of time, as your friends see you in action with Pepsis, they will learn to accept the offer.

Likewise, if you are at such an event and the host/hostess offers you a non-Pepsi drink, simply say yes to the offer. Then, during the meal pretend to take an occasional sip of the non-Pepsi drink. Rather than explain to the host that you have taken an oath to drink only Pepsi, you will be better off to graciously accept whatever is offerred and then simply not drink it.

In such cases, be sure to occasionally pour some, but not all, of the fluid into the kitchen sink so that you will appear to be drinking. If you are always in the same room as the host and cannot use the kitchen sink, excuse yourself to the restroom and "eliminate" the fluid there.

If you are really thirsty, then asking for a glass of water instead of a beverage is considered an acceptable request by most hosts/hostesses.

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Pepsi and Matching Foods

Pepsi is not meant to be consumed by itself. Many Pepsi drinkers do so but those who consume Pepsi with other foods find that alternating between eating bites of food and drinking Pepsi provides a significant enhancement of the Pepsi drinking experience.

For example, Pepsi is considered a sweet product as opposed to Popcorn, which is definitely a non-acidic material (particularly when salted). Alternating Pepsi and Popcorn in an eating session provides more satisfaction than when consuming Pepsi alone.

Better yet, Pepsi has been shown to be an enhancing agent for food combinations greater than two - with combinations up to 7 not unheard of. For example, one Pepsi consumer is know to place an Atomic Fireball (hot candy) in each jaw. With those in place, a bite of a combination peanut butter and miracle whip sandwich on crackers is eaten. After swallowing, a second bite of a vanilla wafer and peanut butter appetizer is taken. Again, after swallowing the second bite, a third bird of a Brach's candy orange slice is eaten. All of this is eased down the throat with a chilled drink of Pepsi (preferrably straight from the can, chilled).

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Eliminating Gas (Carbonation)

If you inadvertently drink Pepsi too quickly, creating carbonation pressure inside your stomach, a slow release of the gas through an open mouth is the correct procedure - no noise please! When releasing the gas, no facial expression or audible sign of satisfaction is to be made.

Regardless of the pace of releasing the gas, a host with a sensitive nose can detect the gas so please do not perform this act while facing the host.

It is not considered socially acceptable to release the gas through your nose. Often, the nose release tickles so much that a face is made, advertising the bad practice. Anonymous alternatives are preferred.

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The Warm Reserve Can - Emergency

Pepsi purists are known to drink all the available Pepsi in their home. It is recommended that at least 1 container of Pepsi be left unchilled, even heated. Having such a container of Pepsi will ensure that only in an emergency will the Pepsi be consumed. For those Pepsi purists whose will is weak, the reduced taste value of a heated Pepsi will help to maintain the Pepsi for only emergency situations.

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Returning to the Pepsi Generation

If an extended illness prevents a Pepsi purist from consuming Pepsi for over 3 weeks, it has been noted that the first taste of Pepsi may not match the purist's memory of the superb Pepsi taste. Like many fine tastes, Pepsi is an acquired taste and it may take as many as 8-10 Pepsis for the tongue to adjust and for Pepsi to provide the expected pleasurable taste response to the brain.

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Pepsi And The Clock

Optimum Pepsi drinking has nothing to do with the clock. Drink Pepsi when you eat or when your are thirsty - regardless of the time of day.

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Selfish Methods Dis-owned By Pepsi Purists

A major problem that Pepsi purists have is the consumption of Pepsi by family members. Where simple purchase of adequate Pepsi supplies is not possible, the preferred strategy is to expose family members to other, habit-forming drinks so that the family members will not consume the limited Pepsi supplies. In addition to providing the other drinks (such as coffee, tea, or milk) to family members it is usually necessary to talk up the health benefits of the alternatives in order to persuade the family member to shift their own drinking habits to non-Pepsi items.

While these practices produce results, they are not considered acceptable because they selfishly limit the enjoyment of Pepsi to a single person.

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Dining Out - Without Pepsi

It is a sad truth that there are Pepsi imitators out there in the world. At times, the Pepsi purist may find themselves in a situation where Pepsi is simply not available. In such cases, options are limited. The preferred approach is to simply drink water.

Where this may not be acceptable, the secondary approach is to purchase other carbonated products and add water to them in order to dilute their overall taste. At a high level of diluation (flatness), almost all carbonation drinks taste the same, so you can then pretend that it is Pepsi that your are drinking.

Using such practices will not lower your social status amongst other Pepsi drinkers - you will not be considered a traitor.

Do not consume an undiluted, alternate carbonation product.

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Travel Tips

When traveling, the best approach to chilling Pepsi is to put the cans of Pepsi into an ice chest that is filled with a mix of water and ice. Putting only ice in the chest will not chill the Pepsi as much as the combination of water and ice.

In cases where the water/ice approach may be a problem an alternative method for chilling Pepsi is to use dry ice (frozen CO2). When CO2 evaporates it does not leave behind any liquids - it evaporates straight into the air, leaving behind no mess at all. However, dry ice cannot make intimate contact with the can, as can water, so the CO2 approach provides less chilling than the water/ice approach. On the positive side, dry ice can last longer than plain ice, so it may be preferable for longer trips.